How to Know When an Aging Parent May Need Help
Many families begin noticing small changes before realizing their loved one may need additional support. These changes are often subtle at first and can easily be explained away as “normal aging.” However, when small concerns begin to add up, they may signal that additional help could improve safety, independence, and quality of life.
Families may delay asking for help because they worry it means losing independence for their loved one, but in reality, early support often allows older adults to age-in-place longer.
Recognizing early signs can help families step in before small issues become larger problems.
This guide explains common early signs help may be needed, and briefly describes caregiver burnout.
When Changes Are
More Than
“Normal”Aging
Early Warning Signs
One of the earliest signs that an older adult may need some support, is increasing difficulty with executive function tasks— the ability to plan, organize, and manage daily tasks.
You might notice changes in the following:
Unopened mail piling up
Spoiled or expired food in the refrigerator
Missed bill payments
Difficulty keeping track of medical appointments
Trouble organizing or remembering to take medications (or doubling doses)
Increased clutter or disorganization in the home
These changes are often gradual and may be dismissed as simple forgetfulness, but they can be an indicator that managing daily responsibilities is becoming more difficult.
Cognitive &
Behavioral Changes
Occasional forgetfulness can happen at any age. However, more noticeable memory changes may begin to appear, which may indicate a need for support.
Examples may include:
Repeated or frequent questions, or relying heavily on memory aids
Difficulty with language or word finding
Noticeable changes in behavior or personality
Becoming unusually confused, suspicious, anxious, or fearful
Forgetting recent conversations
Misplacing important items frequently
Getting lost or disoriented in familiar places or while driving
Difficulty following instructions or directions
Anxiety related to simple changes in routing or structure
Avoidance of learning new tasks
Changes in
Instrumental Activities
of Daily Living (IADLs)
Families sometimes notice changes in the ability to manage tasks or changes in the condition of the home. Because IADLs involve more complex, high-level cognitive and executive functions, including the ability to plan and organize, they are usually the first to be affected.
These may include:
Difficulty managing finances
Inability to keep up with laundry or housekeeping
Neglecting home maintenance tasks
No longer preparing food
Avoidance of scheduling appointments or making important phone calls
Difficulty grocery shopping
These signs often reflect increasing difficulty in managing daily responsibilities alone.
Increased Isolation
Older adults may begin withdrawing from activities they previously enjoyed.
This may look like:
Canceling social plans more often
Avoiding driving or leaving the home
Less communication with family or friends
Loss of interest in hobbies or community
Isolation can affect both emotional and physical health and may signal that additional support or companionship could be beneficial, especially if barriers in transportation are a factor.
Caregiver Burnout
in Family Members
Sometimes the first sign that additional support may be helpful, comes from the family member providing support.
Adult children or spouses may begin feeling overwhelmed by increasing responsibilities, like coordinating medical appointments, managing medications, providing transportation, and handling financial or administrative tasks.
As obligations snowball, it is important for caregivers to recognize the signs of burnout, and practice self-care when necessary.
Signs of Caregiver Burnout
Feeling overwhelmed
Constantly worried
Resentment of the person you are caring for
Increased use of alcohol or substances to relax
Neglect of physical fitness routines
Difficulty sleeping
Feeling sad or hopeless
Having difficulty with your personal relationships
Becoming easily irritated
Frequent illnesses, body aches, or headaches
Neglect of self-care routines
When caregiving responsibilities become difficult to manage alongside work, family, and personal obligations, outside support such as care management or senior concierge services can provide relief help make the situation more sustainable.
Burnout is not a signal of failure.
When Families Should
Start a Conversation
Families often struggle with how to broach the subject of bringing in outside support with an aging parent. In many cases, the best time to start the conversation is when small challenges begin appearing rather than scrambling during a crisis.
Early conversations allow families to explore options together, which provides the individual an opportunity to participate in the process. This promotes independence and autonomy, rather than having family members decide next steps for them.
Even small supports, such as transportation to medical appointments, help coordinating schedules, assistance with daily tasks, or ongoing care management, can help older adults maintain their agency while reducing stress for the entire family.
Another common concern that arises during the conversation, is the reluctance of having a “stranger” assist with ongoing care needs. With the right approach and care manager, families often find that deciding to accept support is more difficult that actually receiving it.
Families often describe feeling relieved once outside support is in place. It can allow them to spend more time simply being a family rather than constantly managing the next problem.
How Sunset
Senior Concierge
Can Help
Sunset Senior Concierge provides personalized care management and senior concierge services that help promote safety, independence, and aging in place.
Services May Include:
Personalized care management & care planning
Medical appointment coordination, accompaniment, & advocacy
Assistance with daily living & executive functioning tasks with mail, calls, errands, organization, decluttering, or downsizing
Dementia-informed support for individuals & families
Ongoing education & guidance as needs change over time
If you are beginning to notice changes in a loved one, a conversation about additional support can be a positive first step.
Need guidance for a loved one? Schedule a complimentary consultation to discuss what services may be helpful.
Other Helpful Resources
for Families
Understanding Dementia and Cognitive Changes
Learn more about common cognitive changes, what families may notice, and considerations as care needs evolve.
Caring for an Aging Parent When the Relationship is Difficult
Practical guidance for navigating caregiving when the parent-child relationship is strained, complicated, or emotionally difficult.
Read the Guide →